


Just Nine(s) Bad Decisions Away from Truly Living

by ilovemiax



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Use, Extremely Dubious Consent, Hank Anderson is a Good Dad, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Nines doesn't know how to emotion.exe, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-06-30 06:03:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19847116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemiax/pseuds/ilovemiax
Summary: After deviation and his release from CyberLife, Nines doesn’t quite know how to be human. One bad case causes him to go through an experimental phase to figure out how to cope and be more human.





	1. Nines Makes an Observation and a Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ain't enough Nines whump in this fandom. There is A LOT of dubious content so each chapter will have its own warning. So stay safe if you're triggered by any of this.
> 
> If you don't like it, don't read it. if you continue reading it, and you don't like it, then that's on you. I've warned you.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: implied death of a child, sexual situations (NOT involving the child, there ain't no fucking pedophilia here)
> 
> Other than that, Enjoy!

Technically, Nines knew the definition of a ‘bad decision’. Technically he knew that Gavin was making _a lot_ of them. And technically, he knew that he himself was about to make a _very_ bad decision. But Nines was desperate to know what the detective was up to on his off hours. Well, more specifically, what Gavin did on his off hours to blow off steam.

Since the beginning of their partnership, Nines noticed a lot of things about Gavin. Notably, his bad temper, overall just terrible behavior, but also his incredible work ethic and passion for his job. Those were just the obvious thing. The less obvious things were the ones that Nines observed after particularly bad cases.

Those were the times when Gavin would leave work with the foulest of moods and come back the next morning in a mood that came close to something akin to pleasant. No swearing, cracking a few non-offensive jokes, and the occasional smile that couldn’t be mistaken for a smirk. That was what everyone saw. But what Nines saw were the bruises. The ones that were hidden under the detective’s collar. The small bite marks and the occasional limp. Though, never bad enough that it hindered his work.

Nines was curious about those marks and wondered where they had come from and why on earth they seemed to make Gavin a more tolerable person. Though, secretly, Nines enjoyed Gavin as he was. Foul mouth and bad behavior included.

But tonight, Nines was determined to find out the cause of Gavin’s morning behavior. He could lie to himself and say it was due to simple curiosity, but the truth of the matter is that Nines felt like absolute garbage. His stress levels were in the 80s and refused to drop lower than a 75. The reason being was their most recent case.

Said case involved the murder of a YK500, named Sophie. She’d been out with her parents at an amusement park. Then, she’s found smashed to pieces underneath the roller coaster. At first, it seemed like a simple accident.

Until Nines found the one bit of damning evidence. Sophie’s mother was pregnant. The YK500 had originally been bought when the couple thought they couldn’t procreate and when the mother realized she was going to have a baby, Sophie was no longer wanted. The parents couldn’t return Sophie to CyberLife so they decided to murder her and make it look like an accident.

The pieces had fit together and for the first time in Nines’ life he felt queasy. He had left the interrogation room and held back his anger. It was the first time that Nines understood when Gavin said the phrase, “makes me sick”. Sick was exactly how Nines felt. Sophie had deserved so much more than the fate she’d been dealt.

In times when Nines was unsure about what he was feeling, he would go to Connor. However, Conor was with Markus and Simon in Washington D.C. helping with the peace talks. His brother already had so much on his plate that Nines didn’t want to burden him. Hank was… more or less out of the question. Nines was 93% sure that if he brought up the case it would trigger a depressive state. He wasn’t about to do that to his father.

So Nines found himself tailing his partner to a seedy bar a few miles west of the precinct. It was close enough that getting there wasn’t an inconvenience and far enough away that no other cops would think of going to the bar- unless someone told them where it was. Nines filed that note aside for later.

Nines knew that he couldn’t go into the bar, that was out of the question. The place was clearly small enough that he was going to be noticed if he walked in. Not just by Gavin but by everyone else too. The LED was a dead giveaway and Nines wasn’t too keen on the company of others. Not because he didn’t like people- though, that was part of his reasoning- but because he wasn’t programmed with the same social protocols as Connor. CyberLife had made him to be obedient to a fault. Even more so than the household or Traci models. Nines considered himself lucky that he was born deviant and never had to suffer through mindlessly following orders.

As Gavin exited the bar, Nines clamped a hand over his LED and ducked into a bus stop pretending to be a regular guy.

Gavin had with him a beefy looking dude who, based on size comparison, could snap Gavin over his leg like a fucking twig. A quick scan revealed his name to be Josiah Creek, arrested for petty thief and was apprehended as a teenager for selling red ice. Though, he was a minor and was given a lighter sentence.

Nines had half a mind to burst in right then and there to arrest the man, but there hadn’t been any illegal activity that occurred so technically, there was no reason for Nines to interfere. Just because Gavin had a preference for hanging around dangerous people did not mean that he was breaking the law. No matter how much Nines wanted it to be. In the back of his mind, he wondered if that uncomfortable feeling was jealousy. He’d ask Connor when he got home. Of course, avoiding all the details of how he came across the feeling.

His eyes were glued to Gavin as suddenly the detective threw Creek against the wall. Nines jumped. He hadn’t expected things to take violent turn. Just as he was prepared to rush over and assist his partner, Gavin dropped to his knees and undid Creek’s belt.

Ah, Nines concluded, the detective was going to perform fallatio. He didn’t want to do an internet search to see if fellating someone was a normal thing to do. He learned from Connor that researching things that are sexual in nature, and then talking about it, were generally frowned upon. Mostly based on the time when Connor asked Hank what an ‘orgy’ was during dinner. Which was then followed up by a lecture on appropriate dinner talk.

Nines took note of Creek grabbing Gavin’s hair roughly and thrusting his hips into the detective’s mouth that Nines quickly became concerned for Gavin’s ability to breathe. However, a quick scan revealed that Gavin was enjoying the rough treatment. The android made another mental note.

Gavin was yanked up by his hair and he was thrown against the wall much like Gavin had done to the man earlier. Jeans were wrestled off and Nines felt something aching in his chest as he watched Gavin wrap his legs around Creek’s waist. It was a feeling that Nines knew a guilt. But he didn’t understand why he was feeling guilty. Perhaps it was because he knew that he was watching something that he shouldn’t. Neither Gavin nor Creek knew that they were being watched and so Nines felt like he was invading. 

He decided that he couldn’t watch the scene before him any longer and quickly left. Besides, now he knew what Gavin got up to and now he knew what he was going to do. Not tonight though, Hank was expecting him home. And besides, Nines was excited to see Sumo. For once the massive furball would sleep on his bed tonight.

\----

“Hey kid,” Hank called from the couch, “how was your night out with Reed?”

Nines shrugged, “I tried to locate where he had gone but I was unsuccessful.” The android kicked off his shoes by the door, went to his room to change, and then reappeared to snuggle on the couch with Sumo and Hank.

“You doing okay?” Hank raised his arm to allow Nines to lean on him. He let out a small exaggerated groan when Sumo draped himself over Nines and added weight to Hank’s side.

Nines nodded and kept his eyes on the TV which was a recording of yesterday’s game.

Hank rubbed gentle circles into Nines’ shoulder, “I heard about the case.” Nines stiffened and Hank continued, “You know that it’s okay not to be okay. You can talk to me.”

Nines remained quiet. He didn’t want to bring up the case. Not when talking about it could be detrimental to Hank’s own mental state. He didn’t want to dredge up old memories of Cole.

“There is nothing to talk about,” Nines lied, glad that his LED was buried in Hank’s chest, “I am alright, Dad.”

For a moment, Nines was afraid that Hank didn’t believe him, but then the lieutenant said, “Well just know that I’m here if or when you need to talk.” Hank pressed a kiss to the top of his head and Nines felt guilty again.


	2. Sex Fixes Everything, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone assumed that Nines had good judgement and he was probably about to prove them wrong. If they ever found out. And besides, Nines was fairly sure this was going to just be a one time thing. If Gavin could do it, then so could he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to another chapter of this dark fic, I hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: rape/non-con (because consent can be given/revoked at any time)

The next night, Nines found himself on the opposite side of town in a particularly rough neighborhood. He had strategically planned this so that he was at a bar that was so out of the way that no one would ever think of looking for him here. Everyone assumed that Nines had good judgement and he was probably about to prove them wrong. If they ever found out. And besides, Nines was fairly sure this was going to just be a one time thing.

Nines thought he would have enough bravado to open the door to the bar wan waltz right in, the same way that Gavin had done. He instead found himself standing awkwardly in front of it with a spinning yellow LED. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t able to just walk in but he couldn’t. He figured it was something to do with ‘nerves’ whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. He’d heard Gavin and Hank talking about it once but never bothered to ask. And the internet only provided him with a medical definition.

Nines took a deep breath and pushed the door open. If Gavin could do it, then so could he. Being inside was a different story. He half expected the patrons to turn around and look at him, but that didn’t happen. Instead, the patrons were too concerned with their own woes to care about him. The android found that to be quite pleasant but it also made his next task harder to accomplish. How the hell was he going to convince someone to have sex with him? He supposed he could just ask.

Nines walked to the bar and before he could open his mouth a thirium based drink was placed in front of him. He paid and then took a sip. He’d never had alcohol before and it seemed like if he was going to be making a slew of bad decisions, something to ‘take the edge off’ was the most sane idea.

He scanned the patrons and wondered how Gavin chose his nightly partner. So far, it seemed like Gavin had a penchant for those with bad behavioral patterns. Nines wondered if that would ever include himself. He shook the thought away and scanned a few people.

The women in the bar didn’t really pique his interest and the men were less than par. He did have to at least pick someone, and while sleeping with a woman seemed to be the societal norm, he found himself more attracted to the strange brunette man brooding in the corner. Nines tried to suppress the fact that he looked a bit like Gavin.

The man, according to Nines’ scans, was a petty thief and currently out on parole for attempting to rob a nursing home.

Nines didn’t know why he felt the need to brace himself for a conversation with the man, but he did. “Excuse me,” he said as kindly as possible, “Would you like to engage in sexual intercourse with me?”

“What the fuck? You some kinda cop? Piss off, asshole.” The man flipped his middle finger up at the detective and switched seats to the opposite end of the bar. Nines frowned wondering what had gone wrong. He had explicitly stated what he wanted which worked for Gavin. So, why hadn’t it worked for him?

“Never seen a Traci like you before,” a gruff voice from behind Nines stated.

Nines turned around. “I’m not a Traci. I’m an RK900 model.” He was tempted to scan the man, but decided against it. He almost preferred not knowing the man’s name or his past criminal history. It made him feel like what he was doing was… almost okay.

The man raised an eyebrow. “Relax, I’m joking.”

Nines’s mouth gave a slight O shape before he closed it, “Ah. I am afraid I do not understand jokes. Or sarcasm, or memes as my partner tells me.”

The man took a step back, “Look man, I don’t mess with people who got partners.” If you’re lookin’ to cheat on him, I ain’t your guy.”

“We are work partners,” Nines clarified for the man, “I am not sexually or romantically involved with anyone.”

The man was more receptive to this and he gave Nines a once over. “Would you like to be? Sexually, I mean.”

Nines felt his heart jump. This was what he had been hoping for but he also had to be sure. “You are offering to have sexual intercourse with me?”

The man grinned showing off stained teeth. Definitely a red ice user. Not illegal to use but illegal to carry and distribute. Nines hoped he didn’t have any on his person. He really didn’t want to arrest a man he intended on sleeping with. That would be unfortunate and inconvenient.

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” The man raised his eyebrows at Nines.

“Yes, my apologies. I simply wanted to clarify.”

The grin got wider. “Great. Let’s go somewhere private then.”

\----

Turns out ‘private’ meant the back of the guy’s van. It was an uncomfortably large van, the kind that Nines had seen the coroners use. It was getting a little difficult not to scan the man, so Nines turned the function off. If they were off, then he wouldn’t be distracted by the temptation to use them.

The second the doors had shut, Nines was pushed onto layers of soft blankets and an assortment of pillows.

“I don’t do this often,” the man said, “in case you’re wondering about the pillows and blankets.”

“I wasn’t,” Nines assured, “but I appreciate the explanation. Although, I suggest that you refrain from giving me more details about yourself. The less we know about each other, the more beneficial this will be.”

“Huh,” The man leaned back skeptical, “You sure you’re deviant?”

“Yes. I was born deviant. I was never a machine.” Nines frowned at the man’s silence. He wanted things to happen and they weren’t happening.

“Sorry,” the man said, “I just wanted to know. I’m not really into fucking machines.”

“Oh.” Nines shifted and tried to leave but the man grabbed his hand.

“Don’t go. You said you were a deviant and so that means you ain’t a machine.” Nines let himself be laid flat on his back and the man crawled over him.

“Can I at least give you a name?” He asked and then quickly added, “It doesn’t have to be my real one if that makes you more comfortable.”

Nines pondered the question and then nodded. “A pseudonym would be preferable.”

“I’m gonna guess that means fake.”

“Yes.”

“Right,” there was a pause and then, “You can call me Spike. Is there anything I can call you? Or is RK fine?”

“RK is fine,” Nines replied. He didn’t actually want to be called RK. He wanted to be called Nines, but it was too late to say anything. And besides, this was supposed to be a one time deal and there was no use in forming attachments. Especially to a red ice user.

Spike leaned down until their lips were barely touching. “Now that we got that out of the way, you gonna tell me what you like?”

“Like?” Nines asked. He was breathless despite the fact that no kissing or any kind of sexual contact had been involved.

“Yeah,” Spike replied and rubbed their noses together. His sharp blue eyes were fixated on Nines’ grey ones. “What you- Like.” Spike punctuated his last word by suddenly grabbing Nines between the legs.

The android gasped and jumped with the sudden contact. Spikes mouth captured his and Nines was swimming with all sorts of sensations. The shock of being grabbed so suddenly combined with the kiss had his head spinning in a thousand different directions. His arms flailed as he was unsure of what to do with them. He settled on gripping Spike’s shirt and attempting to pull them closer and then pushing him away when it became too much. Spike pulled away and Nines found himself gasping for air he didn’t need.

“Fuck,” Spike undid Nines’ belt and swooped away his jeans and underwear in one go. “Fuck, do you- you do.” He reached back down between Nines’ legs and ran his thumb over Nines’ hole. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

Nines had a basic understanding of what was about to happen. Basic understanding as in, he knew which parts were supposed to go where and that was about it. “Just do it!” Nines ordered. He hoped that by being demanding we would accomplish two things. One; that it would appear that he was experienced in such activities. Two; that he could hurry the fuck up and skip to the part where he no longer felt like shit. He wanted the pain to go away and finally feel lighter. 

Spike pulled out his dick without bother to undress himself. “Can you handle this?” Spike asked but didn’t wait for an answer. “I know you can. That’s what you came here for, isn’t it?”

Nines didn’t bother to reply. He just let Spike throw his legs over his shoulders. He didn’t have time to try and figure out what was going on because the next thing he knew, Spike was fully sheathing himself inside.

Nines choked on air and his back arched with electricity shooting through his legs and spine. He wasn’t sure if that was bad or good but there were warning notifications in his HUD. Nines dismissed them immediately. He was feeling something he had never felt before and he was desperate to know if this,  _ this  _ was the feeling that Gavin used to chase away the pain of the cases. Nothing else felt like this so it had to be. It just had to.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, so hot!” Spike groaned and pounded into Nines with wild abandon. As if he knew the android underneath him could take as much as he dished out.

Nines sobbed openly as Spike reached between them and fisted Nines’ cock. It took two strokes and the android felt his whole body tightened. Lubricant burst from his dick and painted their chests.

“Fuck that was fast,” Spike grinned, “I must be that fucking good, huh?” He gave a particularly hard thrust and Nines felt like a chasm had opened in his chest.

“St-” Nines had a hard time holding onto words and air. He was having a hard time focusing on anything. His body was still shooting sparks but they were beginning to border on painful. Nines was hyper aware of everything that was happening and he wanted it to stop. He tapped Spike’s shoulders with the little strength he had left, “St-stop,” he rasped, “I- it’s-”

“Just a little longer,” Spike encouraged, “I’m gonna-” 

The man let out guttural groan and Nines whimpered as he felt semen filling him. It was horrifying sensation, one that Nines did not want to experience again. In fact, he didn’t even want to experience sex ever again. Why did people do this with their time? It didn’t feel nice at all. He just felt like the world had tilted on its axis and there were roaches in his chest.

Spike pulled out of him and the warm disgusting fluid leaked out of Nines. He felt like a dirty mop being squeezed out. The android grabbed his pants and haphazardly put them on.

“Thank you for the experience,” Nines forced himself to say. “I will be going now.”

Spike didn’t stop him from practically running out of the van and into a nearby taxi. Once inside, Nines couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety. He had thought sex was going to make him feel better but it hadn’t. He felt even worse than before.

Assessing and racking his brain, Nines tried to figure out what went wrong. Time, he finally concluded. He didn’t have the time to figure out whether or not he liked it and by the time he was ready to process what just happened, it was over. Nines wasn’t entirely sure what it meant but he wanted more data to figure it out. Which meant going out and engaging in sexual intercourse, again. His stomach felt queasy with the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next chapter: More bad decisions


	3. Maybe Alcohol Will Fix Things, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines can't seem to wrap his head around why his 'bad decisions' don't make him feel better. He goes back to the bar to take a different approach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Dubious consent (due to alcoholism), extremely manipulative behavior

“You’re going out again?” Hank asked skeptically. It was the end of the day and he was eager to go home and relax on the couch with Sumo and hopefully get Nines to open up a bit more and just talk. He did so all the time with Connor and he just wanted to make sure that Nines knew he was also just as loved.

Nines nodded, “Yes.”

“But you went out yesterday.” Hank resisted the urge to mention that Nines, whom he had known since ‘birth’ did not like people and loathed the idea of going anywhere that was not home or work related. Hell, it took Hank four months just to convince the kid to go out to a restaurant. And another two before Connor managed to drag him to the mall to finally go clothes shopping instead of Hank picking something up that he thought Nines might like.

“Affirmative.” Nines resisted the urge to fidget. One of the other malfunctions, or ‘quirks’ as Hank called them, he had. He was supposed to be CyberLife’s most advanced android- not a faulty detective who needed a stupid toy to keep his fingers busy.

Nines didn’t like how Hank’s brow wrinkled in worry. “Are you sure you’re okay, son?”

“Yes,” Nines insisted ignoring the pit in his stomach. “I am attempting something of a social experiment. I have been informed that the act of ‘going out’ promotes character growth.”

Hank didn’t seem to buy it because he said, “Cool. You wouldn’t mind if your old man tagged along then? It’s not often that we get quality father- son time. Besides, there’s always time to go out and ‘be social’ another time.”

Nines swallowed. Normally, he loved that Hank was always able to tell what was going on inside his head but now it was downright inconvenient. “Okay.”

Hank grinned. “Great. Let’s go so we can take Sumo to the dog park. Weather says it’s going to rain and I’m sure neither of us want to deal with a big wet dog.”

Nines gave off a tiny, rare, smile at the mention of Sumo in the rain. Maybe going home wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

\----

Nines ended up going out that night after Hank was called in for a case. They had been watching a remake of the remake of the sixth Minions movie and Nines had actually been enjoying himself. The movie itself was awful but Nines had felt more relaxed with Hank rolling his eyes and bitching about how awful the movie was.

“Ah shit. I’m sorry kid,” Hank had apologized, “I don’t know how long it’ll take but I'll text you when I’m on my way home, alright?”

Nines agreed and tried not to look dejected. As soon as Hank’s car had gone, Nines briefly considered staying at home. But the silence got to him and the next thing he knew, he was calling an automated taxi to take him back to the bar.

“You’re back,” Spike commented as Nines spotted him immediately.

“Yes,” Nines answered simply. A drink was slid across the bar and Nines paid for it. He downed the entire glass much to the bartender’s apparent surprise. Another drink was placed in front of him. Nines quickly ordered two more and before downing his current glass.

“Damn,” Spike whistled, “Rough day at work?”

“Something like that,” Nines replied. He knew that the thirium based alcohol was designed to slow his systems and simulate drunkenness and he needed that to happen as fast as possible. Alcohol lowered human inhibitions and was often called ‘liquid courage’- something that Nines needed at the moment.

Spike watched as Nines drank his third glass; with a bit more difficulty. “Keep going like that and you’ll end up flat on your face and not in the fun way.”

Nines hesitated and then decided to put the drink down. He did not want to end up passed out somewhere strange and far away from home. For some reason that thought made his chest tighten and he felt a pang of guilt as Hank’s face floated into his mind. He needed not to feel this way and things were starting to feel worse.

_ “I must be broken,”  _ Nines realized, “ _ because why else isn’t this working?” _

“You look like you want to get out of here,” Spike said slowly. Nines grabbed his fourth drink but Spike reached out and gently grabbed his wrist. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

“But I paid for it,” Nines insisted. He didn’t realize that his words had begun to slur and his vision had started to lag. Things were spinning and he wondered if he could stand up straight. He tested it and found that, no, he couldn’t. 

Spike dug a few dollars from his pocket and stuck them into Nines’ jeans. “There, now I’ve paid for them. Let’s get you out of here.”

Nines wobbled as Spike threw one of the android’s arms over his shoulder and began to steadily (or as steadily as possible) walk him out of the bar. They made it to spike’s van where the back door was open and Nines was deposited on the blankets.

“Are we going to have sex again?” Nines asked, lewdly spreading his legs.

“I don’t think you can handle that,” Spike responded. “Where do you live? I’ll take you home.”

Nines shook his head and avoided the question, “why are you helping me?”

Spike sighed and got into the van with Nines. He shut the door behind them. “Because after you ran out last night I realized that I fucked up.” Nines blearily looked at him and Spike continued. “That was your first time right? It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. But I could just tell from the way you ran out and the look on your face. Plus you came really fast.”

Nines frowned and felt liquid rushing to his eyes. Dammit, he really didn’t want to cry in front of a mostly total stranger. Especially one that he had disappointing sex with. Besides, Spike had no right to be that nice to him.

“I’m a detective,” Nines blurted out. Spike paused and raised an eyebrow but did nothing to stop the android from talking. “I saw a bad case. Parents killed their kid because she was an android… my partner does stuff like this.” Nines was mentally screaming at himself to shut the fuck up and let Spike just drive him home. But the words were out and it seemed like there was no end to it. “He does stuff like this and it makes him better the next day. I want to be like that too. I want to feel better.”

Nines rubbed his wet eyes and looked up at Spike. “I thought sex with you would make me feel better. But it didn’t.”

Spike sighed. He reached out and took one of Nines’ hands gently. “I can tell you why.”

“You can?” hope blossomed in Nines’ chest. Was this all he had to do to get an answer? Just ask someone for it?

Spike nodded. “It didn’t make you feel better because you didn’t know what was going on. You just dove right into sex without knowing, am I right?” He waited for Nines’ acknowledgement before continuing. “You didn’t have time to figure out what you like or don’t like. So for you, it was just a really shitty experience.”

“Yeah,” Nines agreed softly. At least his eyes were dry now. With his slowed processors, he was able to take in the sensation of Spike’s hand stroking his. He could feel the calluses of hard work. It wasn’t unpleasant and felt pretty okay.

Spike gave him a soft smile, “Do you still feel shitty now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Spike patted Nines hand, “Let’s say we start over, alright? You seem like a really nice kid and I want to help you. Is that okay?”

“How?”

Spike’s smile never faded, “We go slow. I want you to feel  _ everything _ and if there’s something you like or don’t like then you tell me. That way, we only do the things that you like.”

“And that will make me feel better?”

“Guaranteed.”

Nines nodded and wondered where to start. “I don’t know-” he began.

“It’s okay,” Spike encouraged, “I do.” He pressed a kiss to Nines’ hand. He let his hands travel up and down Nines’ arms; just caressing and feeling. “I need you to talk to me,” Spike said, “I don’t want to run away from me.”

“I-” Nines shut his eyes to take in what he was feeling. “I like that,” he decided.

“Good, good.” Spike’s hands kept moving across his arms until they drifted down to Nines’ chest. His hands moved up and down. He wasn’t doing anything to stimulate Nines sexually, but on the occasion where his fingers brushed against Nines’ clothes nipples, the android found himself curious about that sensation.

He swallowed down the bubble of embarrassment and spoke. “I- please touch me- um-” He tried to force out the words.

“Your face is turning blue,” Spike said pausing in his ministrations. “Is that good or bad?”

“I believe it’s called blushing,” Nines mumbled.

“Ah,” Spike grinned and continued to touch Nines. “Where did you want me to touch you?” His fingers grazed over Nines’ nipples again.

“T-there,” Nines stuttered, “please touch me there.”

“Here?” Spike ran his fingers over his nipples and Nines nodded vigorously. “Is that something you like?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Spike didn’t stop rubbing and Nines took the moment to assess. There were small tingles of sparks that started from where he was being touched and traveled to encompass his chest. So far, there weren’t any warning signs so that must mean the sensation was a good one. He relayed the information to Spike.

“See,” Spike cooed and let his hands wander lower, “You’re getting the hang of it. That’s good, you’re doing good.”

Nines felt his face heat up and for some reason that praise felt better than whatever Spike’s hands were doing.

“Hang on,” Spike said pausing, “Did you- do you like it when I tell you that?”

“Very much,” Nines whispered.

“Then I’ll keep doing it.” Hands found their way to the top of Nines’ thighs, carefully avoiding his pelvic region. Nines was extremely grateful for that. He was drunk, yes, but even still he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be touched there.

“I like when you do that,” Nines whispered. He wondered when the slurring and the spinning would stop. He hoped it wouldn’t stop any time soon because he was worried that he wasn’t going to enjoy himself once the alcohol wore off.

“Can I go further?” Spike asked.

“I-” Nines hesitated and then remembered Spike’s words. “I don’t want to be the only one naked. I- I want you to be too.”

“Of course,” Spike pressed another kiss to Nines’ hand. “That’s obviously unfair. How about I get naked first and then I’ll undress you?” 

Nines gave a small confirmation noise. Spike retracted from Nines and spent the next few moments shucking his clothing and shoving them in some corner. Nines was taken aback by Spike’s broad chest. He wasn’t exactly the most muscular person, but there was definition to him and Nines wondered how it would feel pressed up against his own chest.

Spike started with Nines’ shoes. He was careful to unlace them and set them aside before pulling off the socks. For some reason, Nines felt embarrassed by his lack of colorful socks, but said nothing. 

He expected his pants to go next, but instead it was his shirt. Nines shivered as his body reacted to the air and he found that his chest was just as blue as his face.

Spike leaned down and kissed Nines in the middle of his chest. “Sorry,” he said afterwards, “you just looked so cute like that.”

“No, it’s- do it again?” Nines sucked in air as Spike pressed warm lips to Nines’ chest. 

Spike lay kisses across the android all while his hands massaged the tops of Nines’ thighs. He wanted the android pliant under his touch and wanted to hear him moaning and crying out his name until there was nothing left but mind numbing pleasure. And then, maybe he could convince the android to do  _ other  _ things. But that had to come with patience, and Spike had quite a bit of it.

Spike experimented with Nines’ reaction by darting out his tongue during a kiss. The android let out a loud wailing sound and he pulled back. “Was that alright?”

Nines nodded, “Yes, please. I liked that very much.”

Cute. Spike repeated the motion and this time added a bit more tongue. He wondered just how far he could take it and decided to test it. He kept running his tongue up and down Nines’ chest until he reached a nipple. Spike flicked his tongue out and was rewarded with a delighted mewling sound. Not wanting to neglect the other nipple, he reached out with one hand to play with it. There was a loud thump as Nines’ threw his head back with a little more force than necessary. Spike grinned against the android’s skin.

Spike leaned back to admire his work. Nines’ chest was heaving and the blue blush decorating his fact and chest had spread. He reached forward and toyed with the waistband of Nines’ jeans. “May I?” He asked, “I’d like to see you naked as well.”

Nines took a couple shuddering breaths and then nodded. He was nervous and didn’t like the idea of shedding his pants and bearing his naked self to Spike, but then again the man had already seen him.

Nines’ breath hitched as Spike unbuttoned his jeans; slowly and painstakingly he dragged the jeans down mercifully leaving Nines’ underwear on. The hands were back on the tops of his thighs kneading his synthetic flesh.

Spike leaned his head down to place a kiss on Nines’ stomach. He looked up, “Can I keep going?” Nines swallowed down his anxiety and nodded.

Spike frowned and shook his head, “Hey now. I thought you said you were going to tell me what you liked and didn’t like. It doesn’t work if you don’t tell me. You were doing so well before.” He moved away from Nines taking away all physical contact.

For an unexplained reason, Nines chest clenched and he wanted Spike’s touch back. “No,” he whispered, “I’m sorry. Please don’t stop touching me.”

Spike shook his head, “I can’t. I need to know that you’re liking this.”

“I am,” Nines pleaded, “I am. I do, I do like this.” He tried to sit up but his coordination was off and he only managed to roll sideways.

Spike began dressing, “Look. I’ll just take you home. Where do you live, kid?”

Nines reached for Spike’s hand trying to get him to stop dressing. “Wait, please. I promise I’ll tell you what I like.”

The man continued to dress. “I don’t know if I can trust your words. I thought you were going to be honest with me.”

“I-” Nines was at a loss for words. He was so desperate for the physical contact and for the wrongness in his chest to go away. “How do I-” 

Spike finished dressing and climbed into the front seat. “Come on, kid-”

“How-?” Nines stuttered and tried again to get up and keep Spike from just taking him home.

Spike sighed and turned his head to look at Nines. “You really want to make it up to me?” 

Nines nodded eagerly. Anything to get the man to touch him again and make the ache go away.

The man frowned and then shook his head, “Never mind. You wouldn’t-”

“Yes,” Nines urged, “tell me.”

Spike sighed and it seemed like he gave in. “Well, how about you show me what you like. What you want me to do to you.”

Nines swallowed. His head to too muddy for him to properly understand. “I don’t get it.”

“I mean, like touching yourself. Show me what feels good for you.”

“Oh…” Nines supposed that made sense. “Okay. What do I do?”

Spike patted the passenger seat, “Come here and face me.” 

Nines did his best to clamber into the passenger seat. In order to be comfortable that meant his legs had to be spread on either side of spike. The position was dangerously lewd but Nines was too eager to please and his alcohol fueled brain didn’t care. One of Spike’s hands were placed on his calf and Nines sighed contentedly. Spike squeezed his leg.

“Aren’t you going to show me?” Spike’s eyes were bring into Nines in a way that made him feel like he was failing at something.

Nines gave a slow nod and put his hands on his chest to try and mimic what Spike had done earlier. The sensation wasn’t the same. He could feel the minute tremors in his hands and the pounding of his heart under his fingertips.

“I know that’s what you like there,” Spike briefly scolded, “I mean there.” He nodded to Nines’ pelvic region.

“I’ve never touched myself like that before,” Nines admitted.

“You poor thing,” Spike crooned and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Nines’ mouth. “No wonder you’re a mess.” He placed another kiss on Nines’ lips. “It’s okay. I’m here now so you can touch yourself as much as you’d like.”

The words helped a little and Nines gained a little confidence to try and kiss back. However, Spike pulled away before he was able to.

Nines reached down and touched the band of his underwear. He knew that the situation dictated they come off.

“It’s okay,” Spike rubbed his leg, “It’s okay. You can take them off.”

Nines knew that if he were sober, he would not be doing this. But he wasn’t sober so he was doing this. He pushed his underwear down and wiggled out of it. He didn’t like how his spread legs made him feel like a whore.

“Go on,” Spike insisted. “Touch yourself for me.”

Gingerly, Nines reached down and wrapped a hand around himself. It didn’t take long for his body to react to the touch. It felt less intense than the other day and Nines preferred it that way. He wanted to be slow and take his time. He didn’t want to get overwhelmed so fast.

“Go faster,” Spike instructed.

Nines whipped his head up. “What?”   
“If you don’t go faster,” Spike explained, “You’re never going to be able to cum. And you won’t be able to feel good. You want to feel good, don’t you?”

Nines nodded. He sped up a little and winced as he felt something wet leaking out of his hole.

“Good,” Spike whispered, his voice raspy. “You’re doing so well.”

Encouraged by the words, Nines chased the electric feeling between his legs. Spike kept whispering sweet words of encouragement and Nines was drowning in it. He let his head become fuzzy and suddenly it felt like something inside him was going to explode. He immediately stopped his hands eyes flying open. When had she shut them?

“What’s wrong, why’d you stop?” Spike asked.

“I-” Nines didn’t realize how wrecked he sounded. “It felt like I was going to overheat.”

Spike chuckled and shook his head. “It sounded like you were going to cum. Go on, keep going. I promise you’re going to like it.”

Nines swallowed and wrapped his fist around his cock again. He was able to build himself back up, but this time when the overheating sensation crept back up, he kept going and ignored the fear eating away at him.

Pleasure washed over Nines in a tidal wave. He let go of his penis in both terror and the confusion of where his hands were supposed to go. Synthetic semen splashed across his chest and dribbled down in uncomfortable waves of cold as the air cooled it. 

Nines found himself getting scooped up into Spike’s arms as the sobs overtook his body. The forced euphoria combined with his already addled mind was too overwhelming. But, it was overwhelming enough that for the briefest of moments Nines didn’t feel so shitty anymore.

\----

The case took a lot longer than Hank would have liked it to. At first he wondered why he had been called to the crime scene but the second he got there, he understood. It was all Red Ice related. An android had been found dead and completely drained of his blood. It wasn’t the first of its kind to pop up, but this one was the first after the revolution. Well, the first one in Detroit anyway. It still happened across other states.

Hank was more disturbed by the case because the victim, an AP700 reminded him of Nines. There was something about the painfully young expression forever etched onto the android’s face that set his brain into fatherly panic.

When he finally did get home, it was three in the morning. He’s left a short text for Connor telling him that he loved him and couldn’t wait until he came home. Connor didn’t respond because no doubt, he was asleep but it would be a nice message for him to wake up to. Hank couldn’t wait to go inside and see Nines. Hopefully, he hadn’t fallen asleep on the couch.

As he pulled up into the driveway, Hank noticed a very suspicious looking van parked outside of his house. It was the kind that Hank was sure had a kidnapping victim in the back. He shut the car door and pulled out his badge with one hand. The other rested on his gun.

He noted the license plate before Hank knocked on the window of the creepy van and and held up his badge. The window rolled down.

“Can I help you officer?” The grimy looking man asked. Hank could practically see the red ice on his clothing and around his mouth. The entire van smelled like sex and alcohol.

“Yeah,” Hank replied gruffly, “Mind telling me what the hell you’re doing here?”

“Sorry,” the man said, “My GPS busted and I got lost.”

Hank narrowed his eyes, “Really? Well, how about I help you get back to where you were going?”

“I would appreciate that.” The man gave Hank a toothy grin. “I just need to get back to the highway and I should know my way from there. Honestly, I was just dropping off this hot little slut I met.”

“Hey,” Hank snapped, “shut the fuck up. I doubt anyone in this neighborhood would be willing to fuck you so stop it with the vulgarity.” Hank pointed in the direction of the highway, “Highway is that way. Don’t let me catch you in this fucking neighborhood again.

“Yes, sir,” The man mocked and drove off.

The man’s words had Hank’s dad instincts flaring. He made sure his car was locked before entering the dark house. His heart was hammering in his chest and as he creaked open the door, he expected Sumo to come running up. When the old dog didn’t, Hank knew he was with Nines. Which did little to quell the unease in his heart.

Hank beelined for his boys’ room and gently opened the door. He sighed in relief as he saw Nines asleep on his bed with Sumo draped over him.

\----

Nines blinked at the light streaming in from his window. His internal clock informed him that it was 9:00am. A moment of panic passed through him before he realized that it was his day off. He was not late and he could spend the day at home with Sumo. He sighed in relief and it was then that he noticed a scrap of paper tucked into his hand. 

**Call me. - S**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are any of y'all queasy yet? No? Well, it gets worse because I'm that person.


	4. If It’s Not Pleasure, Then It Has To Be Pain, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello,” Nines was straight forward as soon as he walked up to Spike. He shook his head at the bartender discouraging the drink that had yet to be placed in front of him. 
> 
> “Well hello to you t-”
> 
> “I wish for you to hurt me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if I can make things worse with this chapter :D
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: graphic depictions of violence, dub/non-con, no safewords, extremely manipulative behavior
> 
> Enjoy!

Nines was back at work with Gavin and it turned out that the pair were assigned to Hank’s case. Another body had popped up the other day and Fowler was starting to worry that the perp might be escalating. That, and he didn’t want the FBI or State Troopers to get involved. That was a whole nightmare that nobody wanted to deal with.

The RK900 found his partner on the roof of the precinct smoking a cigarette. Gavin glanced over and took another drag.

“Spare the talk about how smoking is going to kill me,” he said.

Nines shook his head, “I was actually about to ask if I could try one.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow. “You? You want to try one.”

“That is what I said. Are your ears just as damaged as your lungs?”

“Ha fucking ha, asshole.” Gavin dug into his pocket for the box and lighter. He tossed them at his partner. “Have at it, tin can.”

Nines caught the box and lighter with ease. He’d seen Gavin smoking so many times he mimicked what he had seen and lit up a cigarette. He passed the items back to Gavin.

“You’re supposed to suck on it,” Gavin supplied when Nines just stood there with the stick hanging out of his mouth.

“I am aware,” Nines shot back, “I am calculating the precise measurement of oxygen intake for-”

“Don’t think, just do,” Gavin snorted. “Not everything has to be boiled down to a science.”

Nines felt his chest warm with Gavin’s snarky reply. It was a feeling that loved. He wondered what it was and thought about asking Connor when he came back.

However, he did as he was told and simply sucked in a bit of air. Too much air it seemed because half the cigarette was gone and Nines was hacking his lungs out a second later.

The reaction had Gavin laughing and then choking on his own cigarette. “Fu-chking hell, Nines!” 

Gavin couldn’t stop laughing and even Nines found a smile creeping up onto his face. Nines liked hearing Gavin laugh and seeing the crooked smile on his face.

“I did not ex-expect for that to happen,” Nines admitted still coughing.

“Such a fucking novice,” Gavin raped.

Nines dropped his cigarette and put it out in favor of gently patting Gavin’s back until the man stopped coughing. “Do you better?” He asked.

Gavin nodded. “Fucking hell, I didn’t think watching you smoke was going to be so funny.”

“Perhaps smoking is not an activity for me,” Nines replied casually. His chest was burning in an unpleasant way but the way it made Gavin laugh made it just a bit worth it.

Gavin took a few deep breaths and brushed away the tears that had gathered there. “What made you want to try?”

Nines shrugged; a habit he’d picked up from Gavin that Hank hated. “Smoking seems to be a social thing and I wanted to try it.”

Gavin hummed his understanding, “Yeah. Hank mentioned something the other night about you wanting to go out and be social or whatever.”

“Hank talks about me?”

Gavin snorted, “You fucking kidding me? That fucking dinosaur talks about you and Connor a fucking lot. Like he did when-” Gavin stopped talking but Nines had already guessed what he was about to say.  _ Like when Cole was still alive.  _

“I wish I could have met him,” Nines remarked softly. “Hank doesn’t like to talk about him.” For a second he was quiet and then in a moment of vulnerability, he said, “I… I wonder if we have still been a family.”

Gavin looked up at Nines with a sort of sad expression. “You would have,” he assured. “Cole would’ve insisted on it. He was a great kid and would’ve loved to have a great big brother like you…. And Connor.” Gavin took one last drag of his cigarette and flicked it away. Unfortunately the wind picked it up and it ended up flicking onto Nines’ hand.

Nines yanked his hand back in surprise. His LED blinked red before cycling to yellow. He hadn’t expected the butt to burn him.

“Oh shit!” Gavin grabbed Nines’ hand inspecting the tiny burn. “Fuck, are you okay?”

“I’m alright,” Nines insisted, “it’s just a minor-”

“Just a minor bullshit,” Gavin cut him off. “There’s a band-aid at my desk or something like that. Do we need to disinfect it or anything?”

“Detective, I’m fine,” Nines pulled his hand back. “It’s just a small burn. It’s not like I was shot.” Gavin’s mouth twisted into a little frown. “But,” Nines admonished, “I will take the band-aid if it will ease your mind.”

“You fucking better,” Gavin growled. He walked to the door and held it open with his foot waiting for Nines to head inside.

\----

It took a couple days for Nines to go back to the bar. He had Spike’s number saved, but he could never bring himself to contact the man. He was still churning from their encounter and while he felt marginally better, he wasn’t entirely okay. He felt more like a soft serve compared to Gavin’s McFlurry. If that McFlurry was mixed in with alcohol, cigarettes, and sex. Either way, Nines wanted it.

He gave Hank the excuse that he was going to try again with being ‘social’ by lying and saying he found a pet store a couple hours away that he wished to visit. Hank had reluctantly agreed and Nines was free to do as he wished.

“Hello,” Nines was straight forward as soon as he walked up to Spike. He shook his head at the bartender discouraging the drink that had yet to be placed in front of him. 

“Well hello to you t-”

“I wish for you to hurt me.”

Spike choked on his drink, “What the fuck?”

Nines patiently waited for him to stop choking but made no move to pat his back or ease his minimal suffering. “I wish for you to hurt me,” he repeated.

“Yeah,” Spike cleared his throat, “I heard you the first time. What the fuck do you mean? Like you want me to beat the shit out of you or is this like a kinky thing?”

Nines shrugged, “As long as I am feeling pain then the method does not matter.” He placed some money on the counter. “I have paid for your drinks.”

Spike didn’t object to Nines taking him by the arm and pulling him outside. He did however, maintain and air of caution and skepticism. Right before they entered his van, Spike requested, “Can I ask what brought this on?”

Nines hesitated as if he were starting to lose his nerve, “I was burned briefly by a cigarette earlier. I… I found the brief pain to be a distraction. One that I would like to extend for a time.”

“I see,” Spike said unlocking the back of the van. He waited for Nines to climb inside before following. “Fucking didn’t do anything for you did it?”

“It did to an extent. But the distraction did not last as long.”

“And you think that pain will?”

“Assuredly.”

“And you just want me to what? Make you hurt in any way possible?”

“Yes.” Nines squirmed as he suddenly realized that he might be asking too much of Spike. After all, two sexual encounters were hardly a basis for a request of this magnitude. “I apologize, I have overstepped-”

“No!” Spike was quick to interject, “It’s not. I just want to make sure that this is something you really want.”

“It is,” Nines insisted, “I want this.”

Spike shrugged, “Guess I can’t argue with android logic.” He paused and then, “You’ll do what I say then? And you won’t, I don’t know, try to run away before we’re done? It won’t be too much for you to handle?”

Nines bobbed his head eagerly. “Yes, I’ll do everything you say and I won’t run before we are done. I am also an android. I can handle whatever you do to me.”

Spike smiled and reached out to cup Nines’ cheek gently. The android leaned into the touch. “Good,” Spike said using his thumb to caress Nines’ face. “That’s good.” He drew his hand back and suddenly there was a loud resounding smack as he slapped Nines across the face.

Startled by the sudden impact, Nines hit the side of the van with a soft thud bracing himself with one hand.

Spike started, “Shit! Was that too much?”

“No,” Nines felt his heart racing and the sting on his face was… soothing. “Do it again. But harder. I can take it.”

There was a split second of hesitation, “Oookay. Safe word?”

Nines cocked his head, “What’s a safe word?”

“Nothing. Never mind.”

The android nodded. If Spike said it was nothing, then it was nothing. The man knew more than he did anyway and Nines couldn’t help but trust that.

Nines was expecting to get smacked in the face but instead he was punched. Blood burst from his nose and mouth like small fountains. Another fist went flying and it took all of Nines’ self control not to fight back. It was interesting to think about how he had a sense of self preservation despite wanting to be hurt and damaged to the point of breaking.

“Is that it?” Spike taunted during Nines’ silence, “is that all your bitch ass can take?”

Nines shook his head and spit blood out on into the floor of the van. “Harder,” he ordered, “Hit me harder.”

Spike hit him again and this time grabbed him by the neck. “You’re just a slut for pain, aren’t you?” His grip tightened and Nines felt the back of his head slamming against the metal. It wasn’t enough to crack his chassis, but it was enough to send his processors into a frenzy. His HUD glitched and static filled his vision.

Nines was dropped and another fist went flying into his face. This time, his self preservation kicked in and his arms were up to defend himself. The static was too much and he could barely see, so he couldn’t fight back even if he wanted to.

“Like that?” Spike asked throwing another punch. “This what you wanted?”

“Y-yes,” Nines garbled. He hadn’t realized that blood had begun to pool in his mouth.

Spike wrenched Nines arms away from his face. “Keep your fucking arms down you little bitch. I thought you said you could take it. So far you’re not doing well.”

Nines stopped the apology that rushed to the surface. Words wouldn’t help him. He needed to show Spike that he could take it. That this was what he needed.

He forced his shaking arms down and hoped the static would clear a little. Luckily, Spike chose to hit him in the chest. His fist pummeled into Nines like he was a self-defense dummy. The static in his vision cleared just enough that Nines could take in what he actually looked like. Blood splattered everywhere and Nines was slick with it. It almost felt like he was bathing in thirium. It should have been concerning how much of his thrium had pooled, but Nines didn’t care. He wanted to see more of his blood spilling. He wanted to be soaked in blue and taken apart. Maybe then the horrible feeling inside him would leave and he’d be okay again.

Spike didn’t stop hitting Nines until the man needed to catch his breath. And when he did, he started pulling at Nines’ clothes.

Fear blossomed in Nines and he reached out to stop the man. “No, don’t!”

“I thought you wanted this,” Spike mocked. He continued to pull on Nines’ clothes. The gesture to not tear or damage the material was however noted and spoke to Nines in a way that made him feel… off. As if torn clothes were more precious and needed to be protected (or used to hide the evidence of what they were doing). Despite the inkling, Nines knew it had to be because Spike cared about Nines.

“I do,” Nines sputtered. He went lax and allowed for Spike to more easily undress him. He hated being naked and was not looking forward to engaging in sex again. But, Nines reasoned with himself. He had already agreed to this and he did promise not to run before they were finished. Which now, Nines assumed, meant when the sexual act had been completed.

Nines tense when Spike produced a butterfly knife from under the driver’s seat. “Relax,” Spike comforted. He ran a soothing hand across Nines’ chest. “I’m not going to kill you. Just cut you up a little. I’m sure you’ll stop me anyway if I go too far. Right?”

The android swallowed hard but he nodded. He did not want the knife anywhere near him.  _ “Remember,”  _ He chided himself,  _ “you promised him you wanted this is. You said you could handle it.”  _

The first slice stung but it didn’t do anything major. It cut into his chassis; deep enough to mark up the plastic underneath and force blood to the surface but it wasn’t deep enough to damage any tubes or disrupt biocomponent functions.

Nines lay as still as possible only let out tiny gasps and soft whimpers here and there. He knew that any wrong or major move would end the night in the worst way possible.

“Hey,” Spike leaned over and brushed their noses together. The knife was dragged down and it stopped at his entrance. “Wanna see how loud you can scream. Can you handle it?”

Nines knew exactly what Spike was planning. Fear was screaming in his ears, but the pain was calling him so Nines whispered, “Do it.”

“Oh shit, really?”

“I said fucking do it!” Nines yowled before he lost the nerve.

“Fuck, okay.” That was all the warning Nines got before the sharp end of the knife was slicing into him. There was no give of synthetic flesh, only the blinding split of it against the blade.

Nines screamed so loud he swore the street lights had burst. There was only one slice because Spike had already withdrawn the knife and had slid his cock in instead.

Nines sobbed and tried to clench his fists but there was no strength left in him to fight. A message popped up into his HUD.

**Dad: It’s late, where are you? Pet store closed an hour ago.**

Guilt crawled into Nines and that was somehow more overwhelming than the pain he was currently in. How was he supposed to respond?

“Sp-spike,” Nines rasped with static in his voice, “hur-hury pleas-please.”

**Nines: Apologies, I am heading home and I will be there soon. I am afriad I lost track of time.**

**Dad: Afriad? Since when do you make typos?**

**Nines: My battery is depleating and typos are the least of my concerns.**

**Dad: Fuck, are you okay? I’ll meet you halfway, where are you?**

For a moment, panic spiked through him.

**Nines: I will make it home. There is no need for you to be concerned.**

**Dad: No need to be concerned, my ass. Nines Anderson, where are you?**

**Nines: Almost home.**

Nines picked out a perfect spot on the highway approximately one hour away from home. He sent the location to Hank and hoped it was enough to buy him some time. A sharp and brutal tug on his cock sent Nines reeling back into the present.

“Don’t fucking pass out of me you little shit,” Spike growled.

Nines trembled, “I’m not.”

“Good.” There was another sharp tug followed by a brutal thrust to his bioprostate and Nines was spilling across the van floor. His arms gave out but Spike didn’t care. He continued to dig his nails into Nines hips damaging the chassis underneath. Spike pounded into Nines ignoring the cries of pain under him. Then, a moment later he came inside Nines’ ass.

Nines let out a soft cry of anguish as Spike roughly pulled out of his sensitive hole. Cum mix with thirium leaked out of him making the inside of his thighs a wet mess. He had to get home.

“You good?” Spike asked for a moment. “Want me to take you home?”

“No,” Nines croaked out. He forced himself to get up and redress himself as best he could. “I will call a taxi.”

“You sure?” Spike asked.

Nines weakly nodded. “I am not too keen on letting Han- my dad see you. He would be less than pleased. And I would also like to take the time to make myself presentable on the ride home.”

“Alright. See you some other time then.”

Nines nodded. “Yes,” he agreed, “some other time.” He exited the van and stumbled into the taxi. It took off as soon as the door closed and Nines curled up into the seat.

He couldn’t stop the flow of tears or the tremors that wracked his body. He was in a type of pain that he had never experienced before. Not only was he hurting on the inside but he was hurting externally too. Nines felt worse than before.

\----

By the time the taxi pulled up to the house, Nines had managed to clean himself off and look like he had just enjoyed an evening at the pet store. Just as he suspected, Hank was in the front yard with Sumo.

“You did not have to wait up for me,” Nines scolded gently, hoping that it would cover his evening’s activities.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hank scowled. He had his arms wrapped around Nines in a warm hug. “I’m a dad. Sue me.”

“Taking legal action against- oh. It is a figure of speech.”

Hank grinned and clasped Nines on the back. It took every ounce of effort not to scream when his hand made contact. “Come on inside. I need to sleep and you need to recharge.”

“That would be most optimal.” Nines answered with a forced smile.

“I’m glad you’re home, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What that kinda intense? I don't know, it felt that way while I was writing it so I hope it was.
> 
> PS I'll be updating this again on Friday but there won't be one the week after because I'm on vacation :D And on the note of vacation, any London readers have any restaurant recommendations?


	5. Dad Mode Activated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank is suspicious of Nines' activities and so Lieutenant Anderson becomes Lieutenant Dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from vacation and I am super excited to gibe y'all a new chapter! So, Welcome to chapter five! It's a little bit of a break from the usual angst(ish)
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: non-consensual drug use

Hank couldn’t stop the growing concern for Nines. He knew he should be pleased that Nines was taking the time to try and ‘socialize’, as the android put it, but he wasn’t. He figured it was just his fatherly instincts that were taking over. Something akin to ‘they grow up so fast’ but even that didn’t feel right.

What bothered Hank was the air of secrecy. Nines was definitely hiding something and he needed to figure out what it was. He did have some idea and honestly, it was probably his worst case scenario. That worst case scenario: Nines was dating Gavin and was too embarrassed to tell Hank about it.

Hank had seen the way that Gavin and Nines interacted with each other. At first, it had just been ugly banter and arguments but it had quickly evolved into terrible jokes and sarcasm. But underneath it all, Hank could see the way that they looked at each other. The light touches and the rare smile that Gavin was always able to coax out of Nines. Even a blind person would be able to tell that they were interested in each other.

“Reed,” Hank called entering the break room, “I need to talk to you.”

Gavin paused mid-pour of coffee. “I didn’t do anything.”

Hank narrowed his eyes, “What did you do?”

Gavin finished pouring his coffee and shrugged. “Something I guess. Why else would you be talking to me?”

“Fair,” Hank replied. He waited for Gavin to finish with his coffee. He briefly wondered when Gavin stopped ordering Nines to get him a coffee. It was once the detective had his hot coffee in his mouth that he asked. “Are you dating my son?”

Right on cue, Gavin spit back his coffee and choked. “Ow, fuck! Dammit!”

“Are you?” Hank persisted.

“No, old man. I’m not.” Gavin grabbed a fistful of paper towels and started wiping himself off.

Hank paused. Gavin denying the relationship seemed like it was logical but something tugged at the back of Hank’s mind. Something that told him that Gavin was telling the truth. 

“Would you like to?” It was a cruel trap to get Gavin to talk but it worked. The detective’s head whipped up and there was a spark of hope in his eyes. One that made Hank  _ almost  _ guilty.

“Really?” Gavin’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat. “I mean, really?”

Hank sighed. Gavin was telling the truth. “Fuck.”

“Oi, wait!” Gavin looked frustrated and angry now. “What the fuck is happening? Oh my god did you just fucking trick me into admitting I like Nines?”

“No,” Hank said half amused and half frustrated that he still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of Nines’ weird behavior. “You did that to yourself.”

“You asshole!”

“Not my problem.”

“So what is?” Gavin growled. “You came here to talk to me so was that it? To ask is I was dating my partner?”

Hank sighed and peered back into the bullpen. Nines sat at his desk, oblivious to what was going on. He turned back to Gavin. “Something is off with that kid. He keeps going out at night and giving me excuses about wanting to socialize.”

Gavin frowned. “Actually, he’s done that to me too. Well not the sneaking out at night thing but the socializing thing. The other day he asked for one of my cigarettes.” He held up his hand before Hank could interject. “Do  _ not  _ say that I’m a bad influence on him.”

Hank smirked, “I won’t because you already said it for me.”

“Look, you’re his Dad-” Gavin winced with the words, “-so he might not open up to you. But maybe he will with me- NOT in the dirty way.”

Hank groaned in horror. “Get to the fucking point.”

“I’m saying what if I’m with him tonight- NOT like that!” Gavin scrubbed his hands through his hair, “then maybe we can have a chat or something.”

As much as Hank didn’t like Gavin, his plan was actually scent. At least he would know where Nines is and maybe Gavin was the right person for Nines to talk to. “Alright,” he agreed, “but no funny business. I mean it.”

Gavin gave him a half-salute, “Yes, sir.” He spun on his heel and walked to his desk. “Sup, tin can?” He greeted his partner.

Nines looked up from the file he was perusing. “Is there something I can help you with, detective?”

“Yeah, I mean no.” Gavin sighed. Why did this feel like he was asking Nines out on a date? He very much wanted to, but this was not a date. “I mean, we should hang out after work. Like we go to a diner and get food or whatever. Or you know, we go back to my place and pop in a movie. Oh! You can hang out with my cats! I’m sure Gonorrhea and Chlamydia would be happy to see you. And Herpes just got a new toy that she’s love to show you.”

Nines LED blinked bright red, as it always did when Gavin named any one of his cats aloud. “I really wish you did not give your cats such horrendous names. They did nothing to deserve it.”

Gavin grinned, “So is that a yes?”

“Yes,” Nines agreed, “I shall go with you after work and comfort your poorly named cats.”

\----

**S: Are you coming tonight?**

**Nines: How did you get this number?**

**S: You gave it to me the other night, remember?**

**S: Did I hit you too hard? :(**

**Nines: Apologies. There must be a glitch in my memory. To answer your question, I am preoccupied this evening.**

Nines felt the need to explain but refrained from doing so. He was busy and that was all Spike needed to know. He didn’t really want to be bringing Spike into his normal life. Not that he lead a normal life- he just didn’t want anyone to find out what he was doing.

**S: Oh. Okay. I had something to give you. Maybe you could stop by? It’ll be quick and it’ll make you feel better.**

**S: I care about youre well being. I just want to see you.**

Nines swallowed and looked over at Gavin who was cradling Herpes in his arms.  _ “Don’t do it,” _ his internal voice whispered.  _ “Don’t go.”  _ But at the same time there was the voice that whispered,  _ “He cares about you.” _

**Nines: *Your**

**Nines: I will be there in approximately forty-five minutes.**

“Gavin,” Nines informed with guilt in his chest, “I am going to go.”

His partner looked up with a sour expression. “But you just got here.”

“I have been here for one hour and sixteen minutes. That hardly counts as ‘just got here’,” Nines retorted, “Hank will be expecting me home.” He felt a little guilty for using Hank as an excuse to leave and see Spike but it was the most believable excuse.

Gavin sighed,” Alright, whatever asshole.” He raised Pea higher so her big brown eyes stared at the android. “Just so you know, she is  _ very  _ disappointed in you.”

The LED on Nines’ head blinked red. “That is an unfair tactic,” Nines informed.

“It is a fantastic tactic,” Gavin snorted planting kisses on Pea’s head. “Especially if it works.”

“Goodbye, detective.”

“Detective?” Gavin feigned offense, “in my own home?”

Nines rolled his eyes at his partner’s dramatics. “Goodbye,  _ Gavin.  _ I will see you in the morning.”

Gavin grinned. He put Pea down and opened the door for Nines. “Bye asshole.”

The door shut behind Nines and he instantly regretted his actions. He had half a mind to turn and knock on the door to stay- say he changed his mind.

\----

“You came!” Spike greeted Nines at his usual spot by the bar.

Nines nodded. “You requested that I come.”

“I did!” Spike motioned for a drink to be placed in front of Nines.

The android cocked his head slightly. There was something off about Spike. He was more fidgety than usual and there was an odd scent of old sweat. Nines didn’t like this new behavior but he remembered that Spike had something to give him. It was probably something meaningful and would therefore cause nerves.

Nines tried to quell the bubble of anxiety that threatened to burst. He was being ridiculous. So far, Spike hadn’t hurt him. Well, he had, but that was at Nines’ own request. It would be unfair to hold that against him.

Politely he took a sip and winced. There was something different in the drink.

“Oh,” Spike sighed, “you don’t like it?” He turned away from Nines with a deep sadness that guilted the android into taking another sip.

“No, it’s fine,” Spike taking the drink from Nines. “I just thought that you’d like it is all.”

“It’s… different,” Nines tried, “It has an odd taste but I am sure I will get used to it.”

Spike looked up at him hopefully, “You’re not just saying that?”

Nines shook his head and Spike grinned. He kept a hand on Nines’ shoulder for far longer than he was comfortable with. His processors felt a little slow but he figured that was normal for alcohol consumption.

“Has it hit you yet?”

“I-I belief- believe so,” Nines was shocked but how fast the drink had hit him. Suddenly, he was scared and all he wanted to do was go home. “I- need,” he stumbled through his words and decided that he needed to leave. Sluggishly, he pushed Spike away from him and stumbled towards the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Spike followed Nines but did nothing other than that. “I thought you liked my gift?”

Nines managed to get the door open. The second it was open, he slammed face first into the ground. Trying to get up made him feel like he was Bambi. Something was very, very wrong with him. He tried to force himself to stand and do something, anything.

Fuck trying to hide what he was doing, Nines was desperate. He tried to bring up Hank’s number on his HUD but all he saw were the numbers floating around in no particular order.

“Do you like it?” Spike’s voice sounded far away even though he was kneeling by Nines’ ear. “It’s something I came up with just for you. A type of Red Ice that affects androids.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, only two chapters left and shit's gonna go down :D


	6. Nines Knows He’s Royally Fucked, In More Ways Than One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines didn’t know how long he’d been unconscious for. His HUD wasn’t working correctly; flashing bursts of static and red around the edges. Through the heavy and muddy feeling in his head he was able to discern a few things. The first and most alarming thing was the fact that he was naked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I nearly forgot to update this today! T^T   
> Get ready for a long-ish chapter with a lot of things that happen. I was going to break this up into two buttttttt I didn't.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: non-con touching & blood

Nines didn’t know how long he’d been unconscious for. His HUD wasn’t working correctly; flashing bursts of static and red around the edges. His body felt unnecessarily heavy but as far as he could tell, there was nothing on him. He was only eighty pounds he shouldn’t feel like he weighed two hundred. 

Where the fuck was he anyway? Through the heavy and muddy feeling in his head he was able to discern a few things. The first and most alarming thing was the fact that he was naked. Nines tried to lift his arms and at least try to cover himself but that wasn’t happening. His arms wouldn’t move.

Nines tried to force his arms to move but once again, they wouldn’t budge. He tried his legs and came up with nothing. So, he concluded, at some point while he was passed out, his limbs had been disabled. He wondered if it was a side effect of the tainted Red Ice.

Memories flooded back in at that moment and Nines felt cold. Spike had been the one to drug him and most likely violated him while he was unconscious. Did that mean he was in the van or was he somewhere else?

The static in his vision cleared just enough that Nines caught sight of the ceiling above him. Giant shiny meat hooks hung above him with the carcasses of various livestock and two other androids. Automatically, Nines’ mind flashed back to Hank’s case. Two dead androids, drained of blood for Red Ice. Is that what was going to happen to him?

“You’re awake, good.”

Nines jerked as best he could and saw Spike approaching him from the shadows. He reached the android’s side and stood over him with a small, almost sad smile. 

“Whȅ̛͉̤r̻͂e̛̮̓ͅ ̱ä̼́r̩̙͆͞ẹ̇ ̣̑w̠̎e?̥̩̅̇” Nines hated how his voice glitched and sounded more mechanical.

Spike caresses Nines’ cheek, “We’re in my shop, pet.”

“İ̬’̦̖̋͒m̰͡ ̲̰̍̋n̟̑o̺͕͋̑t y̩͒̚͢ŏ͔u̱͇͊̒r͔̿ ̝̆p̣͆̋͟e͓̕t̢͕̑͡.͇ ̧͇͛T̬̃hi̋͟s ͔͕̅̏í̻s-͚̘̔̋”

“Assault and kidnapping or an officer of the law? Yes, I know.”

Nines opened his mouth to say something but found that he didn’t have words.

Spike continued, “At first I thought you were in the bar to arrest me so imagine my surprise when you weren’t. I was just going to fuck you once and then kill you but-” he let his hand travel down to Nines’ penis. “-seeing that innocent look on your face and just knowing that you have no idea who I was… well, that was a power trip. I couldn’t help myself. You fell into my lap, almost literally.”

“Sto̰̊͟͡p̣̂,” Nines croaked, “S̱͗tȏ͕͑͟p̡̍ ̯͝th̫̍i͕̫̓͛s̨̘̏͡.”

Spike sighed as if Nines were singing with the most angelic voice, “I do love when they beg.” He let go of Nines and brought his fingers to the detective’s lips. “Don’t worry. I won’t be fucking you. I’d prefer not to mix business with pleasure.” The man pulled away.

“Y̮̾o̥̅u̘͛’re͚̮̐̆ ̥̱̔̕g̢̛oį̻̒̔n͈͊̔͟g t̠̐ơ̯̄͟ ̭̥͂̑d̥̕r͍̺̽͂a̗̫͂͠i̙̣̍͘n̅͟ ̨̋me ̲̑f̮͑ǒ̲̈́͟r͙̍ ̺͓̈̆m͎͚͆͗y̠͐ ṭ̊ȟ͍̫̇i͈r͔̱͗̄i̝̓uḿ̦͇̾,” Nines stated.

Spike grinned and went to a small table, “Give the boy a prize.” He retrieved a needle, tube, and some blood bags.

Nines knew it was hopeless to struggle but he tired anyway. He let out a glitchy sob as the needle was jammed into his skin and blood began to siphon into the bag.

Spike wiped away Nines’ tears. “It’s a shame that you have to die. I did enjoy fucking you. And maybe if these were different circumstances, this could have been a beautiful thing.”

Nines’ sobs got louder. The feelings inside his chest were too overwhelming. He wanted to turn back the clock and start over. To talk to Hank instead of doing this and getting involved with Spike. He wanted his dad. He wanted his brother. He wanted his partner. He just wanted to go home.

\----

Gavin felt a little stupid for worrying. Nines had fucked off and gone home, no need to worry. He was with Hank by this point and probably eating dinner with the old man. Or playing with that big ass dog that Nines treated like a lapdog.

The detective figured he was worried because Hank hadn’t texted him to say that Nines had come home safely or say something snarky. Technically, he knew that Hank didn’t owe him a text or anything to that effect in general. But, it would be nice to receive one.

“ARGH!! FUCK IT!” Gavin screamed accidentally startling all of his cats. He was going to text Hank and ask if Nines was home. If Hank was pissed it didn’t matter. It would be worth it.

Hank hadn’t had nervous energy in a long while. He was pacing back and forth between the TV and the refrigerator, flipping channels unable to concentrate on one thing. He avoided calling Connor because the kid had a lot bigger issues to worry about than his dear old dad freaking out over his little brother. He knew that what he was doing was stupid. Nines was safe and with Gavin and betraying Sumo by playing with cats. He was absolutely  _ fine. _

“I just need to keep busy, right Sumo?”

Sumo boofed his response.

“Right.” Hank shuffled around the house and for the first time in a long while, he did chores. He did the dishes, repaired the one chair with the wobble and started laundry. If he could figure out what to wash, he would start laundry.

Hank grumbled and shuffled into Connor and Nines’ room. He had to admit that giving them Cole’s old room hurt, but the two respected the space. Hank wanted to clear out the room entirely but it was Nines who insisted that they keep some of Cole’s old things. Like the drawings thumbtacked to the wall and the overall teddy bear theme of the room. He had no idea why, but in the end, Hank was glad they were there.

He reached for the laundry basket and carried it to the garage. Sumo boofed and Hank stuck his leg out to keep the door open long enough for the Saint Bernard to join him.

The basket was dumped into the washing machine and Hank paused. Something felt off. Ditching the basket, he found himself picking up Nines jeans and turtleneck. There was nothing physically wrong with them and smelled like dirty laundry- except there was something else too.

Being around Connor and Nines and now heading the whole department dedicated to android crimes, Hank knew a thing or two about thirium. The first is that thirium evaporated after a few hours and androids could see it long after. Secondly, thirium left behind a residue that left clothing material feelings stiff, almost crunchy. And thirdly, there was a chemical smell left behind. Faint, and only noticeable if you knew what to smell for. And Hank was smelling and feeling it on Nines’ clothes.

Hank’s stomach churned. Nines didn’t have any cases involving copious amounts of thirium and there was no reason for him to have it on his clothes. It had to be involved with his new ‘extracurricular activities’. Hank’s brain went to the worst case scenario. Nines was involved in something dangerous and something he couldn’t tell Hank about. If something dubious was going on, did this count as evidence?

It was then that Hank noticed Nines’ underwear in the pile. He felt wrong but when he grabbed it, a pit opened in his chest. It contained the same chemical smell and odd texture but not just that either. As far as Hank new, androids didn’t ejaculate the same way that humans did.

His phone buzzed and Hank saw Gavin’s name pop up. He opened the message and the pit grew wider.

**Gavin: did 9s get home okay**

Hank called immediately.

Gavin picked up, “Damn, what the fuck-”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Um, I thought the text was fairly obvious.”

“Where is he? How long ago did he leave? Fuck is he still there? I’ll come get him.”

“Hank,” Gavin suddenly sounded scared, “Hank, he left an hour ago.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE LEFT AN HOUR AGO!? WHERE IS HE!?”

“I don’t know!” Gavin was starting to panic, “I don’t know! That’s why I called you!”

Hank took a deep breath. “Okay, fuck! Okay. Stay on the line and I’ll fill you in. Meet me at the station.” He heard Gavin rushing for his keys and Hank did the same.

\----

Hank hung up the phone as soon as he saw Gavin pulling into the precinct.

“You’re sure!?” Gavin was basically yelling as he scrambled out of his car and was running after Hank into the building. They ran into the precinct and straight for Hank’s desk.

“Yes, I’m fucking sure!” Hank screamed back at him. “We need to find him!”

“What in the fuck is going on here!?” Flower burst out from his office. “Stop fucking yelling and since when do you get a-fucking-long!?”

Gavin slid into his desk and pulled up the tracking map. If they could just get a signal from Nines’ phone then they were in business.

“Not now Jeffery!” Hank screamed, “Nines is missing!”

Jeffery flew down the stairs marching right up to them, “What do you mean he’s missing? Anderson? Reed! Tell me what is happening!”

“Look,” Hank lowered his voice so that at least Jeffery would understand him. That and it would probably help if Hank was calm as well. The yelling would stop his head from exploding and maybe help him to think rationally. “Jeff, Nines has been going out after work every single week.”

Fowler raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms, “That is hardly a reason for your panic.”

“It’s not, though,” Hank insisted, “he’s been different lately. Quieter than normal and it’s like he’s hiding something from me.”

“And he didn’t go home for nearly an hour after he left my house,” Gavin supplied.

“He was at your house? Like a social- no. Don’t tell me. Save it for HR if that is how-”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Gavin shook his head, “As much as I would like to date-”

Hank stopped his train of thought with a firm hand on the detective’s shoulder, “We are doing this another time.”

“Right okay,” Gavin said and turned back to his monitor, “I couldn’t find his exact location-”

“WHAT!?”

“BUT!” Gavin screamed back with just as much intensity, “I found his last known location. It’s a bar called Patty’s on the other side of town. It takes an hour to get there.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Hank pulled out his keys.

“Dammit,” Jeffery groaned and held up the keys to his squad car, “if this turns out to be nothing, I’m pretending like this didn’t happen, capiche?”

\----

“I still don’t know why this bar, why would Nines go to this bar?” Hank growled, “Fucking hell, can’t you drive any faster Jeff?”

“I’m going one ten,” Fowler replied back, “We’re five minutes away.”

Gavin’s head was spinning with a multitude of questions. He had no idea why or how Nines got involved in something potentially dangerous. Hell, the android didn’t even like going outside. He tried to think back to when this started. Honestly, it hadn’t been that long ago. Really, it had to have been during…. During the case involving the YK500.

Nines had been disturbed by the case and it was the first time that Gavin had seen anything like that in his partner. Like something was truly wrong. But Gavin hadn’t cared - not at the time anyway. He was too focused on making his own fucked up feelings go away to pay attention. He should have seen that Nines needed him instead of wallowing in his own shitty feelings. Instead, he went off and did what he always did. Go to some shitty bar and get dicked down until he felt better.

A sudden realization dawned on Gavin. “Fuck,” Gavin whispered, “I think this is my fault. And if this is my fault, then Nines is in deep, deep shit. Way over his head.”

“Gavin,” Hank’s voice dropped to a pitch in the danger zone, “E X P L A I N.”

“You know when you have a case that gets to you and you just need to blow off steam?” Gavin shivered, “I think Nines figured out what I do and did it for himself.”

There was a second of silence and then from Hank, “Fucking hell, Gavin!”

“I’M sorry! I didn’t think he was going to copy me!”

Fowler stopped the car with a screech and the three were scrambling to get out and into the bar as fast as possible. Hank was in the bar first, praying that Nines was inside. He wanted to take his kid home, wrap him in a warm blanket and tell him that he was going to be okay.

In hindsight, busting into the bar looking like a madman with two other police officers behind him wasn’t a great idea. Everyone booked it and Hank felt like he was being trampled in a mosh pit. Luckily, Hank managed to snag the closest person and slammed her into the wall.

“Anderson!” Fowler yelled.

Hank growled and loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “I’m lookin’ for an android.”

“Yeah, been shacking up with Spike.” A different voice answered; the bartender. She was casually washing a glass as if all of her patrons hadn’t just booked it out the door. Hank, Fowler, and Gavin turned to look and Hank let the woman go. She bolted out the door cursing them.

“And who the fuck is this Spike?” Hank demanded as he marched over to her.

“Local sleeze who fucks anything with legs.”

Gavin stepped in sending that Hank was about to hit the bartender. “You said the android went with Spike?”

The bartender rolled her eyes, “What did I just say?”

“Where did they go?” Gavin snipped back.

She shrugged, “No idea.”

Fowler pushed Hank and Gavin aside. “Look, that android is one of our own so instead of your bullshit answers how about you give us something real?” He leaned over the bar getting close to her face, “Like. A. Name.”

“Spencer Davis. Kitchen buys their meat from him. Uh, owns a store…” she paused and then, “It’s called Porkers and Knives.”

\----

After a quick search and background check, the three discovered that Davis was arrested for Red Ice manufacturing, distribution, and money laundering. However, due to a corrupt judge, a bribed jury, and mishandled evidence, his case was dismissed. Then, a year ago he opened his butcher shop. Porkers and Knives happened to be thirty minutes in the opposite direction, while Spencer Davis’ house was three miles outside Detroit. Fowler sent Tina and Ben to scout out the location while on patrol just to ‘check up on things’ and interfere if something was wrong.

“They’re not at his house,” Hank had reasoned as they debated on which location to go to. “Assuming the worst, Davis wouldn’t want an android cop to know where he lived.”

The second they arrived Hank recognized the van. “Son of a fucking bitch! He was there!”

Fowler and Gavin turned to Hank, confused and alarmed, “What?”

“He was at the fucking house!” Hank trigger finger was itching, “I came home a few days ago and he was parked right in front of our house. Bragged to my fucking face about- about what he’s done to Nines.” Hank turned to Fowler, “You should stay here and wait in case we need backup.” The lie was obvious to everyone.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Fowler replied but did as Hank requested and stayed by the car.

Hank and Gavin crept towards the butcher shop. The front lights were off but they could see a faint glow coming from underneath a door.

“There,” Hank mouthed, and Gavin nodded.

Hank made a hand gesture telling Gavin to flank the other side of the building and cover their exits so that Hank could creep in through the front door.

The front door was obviously locked and through some expert lock picking, Hank got the door open. He was grateful for the lack of a bell or other noise that would alert Davis to their presence. Something that he didn’t even think of until he was already through the door.

Hank crept towards the back room; where the light was coming from. So far, he couldn’t hear any kind of noise. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. Luckily the back door wasn’t locked so he slipped inside. Carcasses hung from the ceiling and it made Hank sick. The smell was so strong it made his eyes water.

Hank nearly screamed when he turned around and came face to face with a dead android. If he had an LED, he was sure it would be bright red. There was something oddly familiar about the dead android. Hank’s mind flashed to the case he was currently on and the pieces started to click together. Either on purpose or by accident, Nines had discovered their murderer. He prayed that Nines was here and that they weren’t too late.

The Lieutenant crept closer to the light source and saw his son on a table. He was hooked up to pump that was draining his blood.

“Shit, Nines!” Hank rushed over at the same time Gavin did. “How do I-?” His question died because Gavin was already ripping the tubes out of Nines. The android was unresponsive.

Hank felt like he was losing Cole all over again. Nines was pale, almost white. In fact part of his skin were flickering like it was struggling to stay in place. His breathing was slow and his LED spun a sluggish red and sometimes pulsed brightly before fading to a dim glow. And by far the most disturbing was that Nines was naked. His body was covered in half healed cuts and damages where there shouldn’t be any.

Nines’ face was so still and so calm that it didn’t match the rest of him. Hank shed his jacket and draped it over Nines. Aft the very least, he could try and preserve some of Nines’ dignity.

“Fuck,” Hank choked. “I’m going to kill that bastard.” 

“Nines,” Gavin whispered, “Hey. Come on, open your eyes.” Again, there was no response.

“Stay with him,” Hank ordered softly, “I’m going to see if that bastard is still here.”

There was a noise and Hank turned just in time to see Spencer Davis backpedaling away from them with a horrified expression. But it was too late for him because Hank’s gun went off and the man dropped to the ground with bullet hole between his eyes.

Hank tucked his gun away just as Fowler came running inside with his gun drawn. “What the fuck happened!?” He shouted.

“He charged at us,” Gavin said flatly, “he threatened to kill Nines. Hank shot him and saved us. It was self defense.”

Fowler was silent for a moment and then turned to Hank, “Make sure that’s in your report.”

“Yes, sir.” Hank replied. Fowler took a step back and allowed for Hank to run to his son’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, what Hank did (ie the lying and the murder) was wrong and what Gavin did (ie the lying about it) was wrong and what Fowler did (ie the looking the other way) was wrong. If you disagree come bitch at me.
> 
> Coming up next chapter: Some healing and talking about feelings. Also Simon makes an appearance :D


	7. Nines Discovers that Talking Really Does Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone found him and now Hank knew everything. Nines was so fucking screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I ALMOST FORGOT TO UPDATE TODAY BUT Welcome to the last chapter! Which is dedicated to merpmerp who gave me the amazing idea for the conclusion <3 Thank you much!!
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this conclusion. No warnings apply to this chapter.

The first thing Nines saw when he opened his eyes was Hank. He was holding the android’s hand while his head was resting on the bed by his leg. So he was still alive and that meant… it meant a lot of things. But the glaringly obvious one was that Hank found him. Or someone did, and now Hank knew. 

Hank knew everything.

He was so fucking screwed. Panic welled in his chest and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. It felt like there was something in his chest ready to claw its way out in a massive bloody mess. Hank stirred and Nines felt his stress levels rising into dangerous territory.

“Nines-!” Hank was awake the second he saw that Nines was conscious.

“I’m sorry!” Nines burst into tears, “I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me!”

Hank didn’t waste any time in launching himself forward and capturing Nines in a comforting hug. “Don’t be sorry,” he soothed, “Nines, don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. You hear me? You’re okay.” His words only served to make Nines sob harder. He cradled his son and rocked him gently until the tears subsided.

“I’m sorry,” Nines sniffled, “I didn’t- I was wrong-” The tears were starting up again.

“Listen to me,” Hank cupped his son’s face with both hands, “you did nothing wrong.”

“But I did,” Nines blubbered, “I kept going back even though he was hurting me. I thought he cared about me. I- I just wanted the feelings to go away.”

Hank shook his head, “Nines. Don’t you dare be blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. It’s called compartmentalizing and coping. We all figure out how to do it, but as a father- as  _ your  _ father- I should have pushed you to talk to me. So that we could figure this shit out together. None of this is on you, understand?” He used his sleeve to wipe away the tears on Nines’ face.

Hank continued, “What Davis did to you was wrong. He took advantage of you and none of that is on you.”

Nines choked on another sob, “But I- I thought if he hurt me physically then the inside hurt would go away. But it didn’t and I just felt worse!”

Hank pulled Nines into another hug. “You’re going to be alright, we’re gonna work through this together. Is that alright? That we do this together from now on?”

Nines nodded into Hank’s shoulder and cried until he couldn’t cry anymore.

**A Few Weeks Later**

Nines  _ really  _ didn’t want to be at New Jericho right now. But as much as he didn’t want to, he promised Hank he would at least try and attend the support group. The support group which had been put together, for androids who deviated due to trauma. 

The problem Nines was having is that he felt like the support group wasn’t meant for him. He didn’t know what it was like to be a machine. He didn’t know what it was like to be trapped within programming- at least not in the way the others did. He was deviant from the moment he was born. He just felt more out of place.

The only other reason that Nines was at New Jericho was because Simon was the one in charge of the support group. Nines liked Simon. He was there when Nines was found in CyberLife’s basement and he was one of the only few androids who weren’t immediately hostile to the ‘Deviant Killer’s’ upgraded model. And for that, Nines considered him a friend.

“I can’t do this,” Nines thought. He stopped in front of Carl Manfred’s giant doors. Carl, bless the old man, had been more than happy to open his home to the androids and let them use his house as the base operations for New Jericho. It also helped that his son was the android leader.

Nines turned away from the door. He did not want to be here. He could just go somewhere else and call Hank or Gavin and go home. He was about to leave when a gentle voice called out to him. “Nines?”

The android turned around to see Simon looking at him but he didn’t say anything. Turns out he didn’t need to because Simon simply stepped out and shut the door behind him. 

“Come on,” Simon said, “Let go to the backyard. Markus and I just planted a new fig tree and I’m kinda eager to show it off.” He smiled and waited for Nines to give him a short nod before he led the way to the little garden in the back.

Simon smiled as he sat by a patch of dirt showed off the little buds that sprouted from the ground. “This is Nora,” he introduced, “and this is Nate. Guys, this is Nines.”

The breeze swayed the little plants as if they were waving to the androids and Nines couldn’t help but wave back at them. “You gave them names?”

Simon smiled, “Of course.”

“Of course,” Nines repeated softly somehow feeling like he’d asked the most ridiculous question in the world. Of course the figs would have names. Why wouldn’t they?

Nines looked around the oddly quiet backyard. “Where are Major and Minor?” He asked referring to Simon and Markus’ pet dogs, a Tibeten Mastiff (Minor) and a Yorkie (Major).

“They’re inside with Alice,” Simon replied. He patted the ground next to him and Nines sat. For a while they just sat in silence watching Nate and Nora sway in the breeze.

“I stayed with him after I deviated,” Simon started, “because I wanted to. Because I thought it was what I deserved.”

Nines froze and looked at Simon but the PL600 wasn’t looking at him. Instead he fiddled with his sleeve.

“The little girl I looked after was named Aubrey. I was a part of their family. They loved me and I loved them so much… and then she died and her father blamed it all on me.”

Nines remained silent listening to Simon. He’d never heard the android talk about his past before. It wasn’t something that was ever brought up and it was a subject that was carefully avoided.

Simon continued, “I know he loved me, before, I mean. When Aubrey was still alive. And I think he even loved me after. Even if was just for a while. But that small while was enough for me to stay. No matter how much he hurt me I wanted to stay.” Simon’s gaze went off into the distance. “I knew that I should leave but I just couldn’t bring myself to. I thought he needed me and I needed him. But that wasn’t true. And even after I left, I still felt shitty about it. Not so much anymore. Sometimes if I overthink it, I do.” Simon took a breath and looked at Nines. “You don’t have to say anything, I understand. But if you ever do, I’m here.”

They sat in silence for a little while longer and then Nines asked, “How did you know?” He almost clarified what he meant before the blonde answered.

“I could see it in your face,” Simon replied, “an expression that I wore for a very long time.”

Nines opened his mouth to say something and then shut it. Where was he even supposed to begin. He didn’t want to interface and share with Simon- that felt like asking too much.

“Can you ask a question?” Nines whispered, “I don’t know where to start.”

Simon hummed in thought and then asked, “How long ago did this happen?”

“A few weeks ago,” Nines answered. “I- It started with a bad case. I… I didn’t want to feel like shit anymore.”

“So you did something about it.”

“Yes.”

Simon nodded, “It’s okay to feel like shit sometimes.”

“I have been hearing that often.”

“I imagine you have,” Simon remained soft. “Would you like to interface?”

Nines shook his head, “No. I- I don’t want to share those memories.”

“That’s fair.”

The pair fell silent again and Nines’ head was spinning. He didn’t even know what emotions he was feeling. Everything was so confusing. He wanted to share but at the same time he was afraid to. 

“Your LED is red,” Simon commented, and gently grasped Nines’ wrist before the android could cover it up. “What’s going on in your head?”

“I don’t know,” Nines admitted truthfully, “I don’t know. I’m- there’s too much and I’m… I’m scared and I do not know why.”

“Are you scared that I’m going to judge you or look at you differently?”

Nines swallowed. He felt incredibly guilty for nodding his head.

Simon continued to smile, “It’s okay. I’m not offended. I’m not one for judgement. There’s a reason, I told you about my past. All the deviants I know left upon their moment of deviation. But not me.” He took a moment to study Nines.

“I just wanted the shitty feeling to go away,” Nines’ voice cracked, “I thought he cared about me.” His mouth opened to speak but instead an ugly sob ripped it way out and all the words were lost.

Simon wordlessly wrapped his arms around Nines. They sat together for another ten minutes until the tears subsided and Nines withdrew from Simon’s arms.

“Are you feeling a little better now?” Simon asked.

Nines nodded, “A bit.” He was quiet and then, “I want to tell you… talk to you but… I don’t feel like talking today.”

“You don’t have to. Is there something you want to do instead?”

For a moment he hesitated. “Will you show me around the garden?”

Simon smiled, “Of course.” The pair stood and Simon started ushering him to a small pumpkin patch.

“Simon,” Nines said softly, “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks! I'll be back next week with the next part of my "Nines Eats Things" fic and some more DBH fic content.
> 
> I take fic requests so HMU because I'm always ready to write something <3

**Author's Note:**

> Due to a certain asshole, I'm not taking criticisms on this fic. Other than that, let me know if y'all want to read more.
> 
> i update every Monday (and sometimes on Friday if I'm impatient)


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